So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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