Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
