Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
