And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize