Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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