Sry I called you an 8
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
