I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize