I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
