Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize