Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I've blown a few things in my day
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
