So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she told me i tasted like america
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
