Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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