Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
