do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
