You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
