my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Randomize
