I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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