My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
