Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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