You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm at about main and main street
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
