hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize