awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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