Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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