Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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