Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
