God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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