ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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