my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
