I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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