I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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