omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just google imaged poop.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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