TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
