I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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