My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
two words: eviction party
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
