Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
