last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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