Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
