You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
