Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Terrible idea I love it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
