You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
