Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize