Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
