this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
