I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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