I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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