Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize