Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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