I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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