11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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