She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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