love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
