wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
