idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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