Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
