then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
