alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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