The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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