is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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