The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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