dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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