Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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