things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
